There are no apps for girls under a certain weight, so creating something for bigger girls is basically segregating them from the norm. " SLi NK Magazine Editor Rivkie Baum told Huffington Post that Woo Plus' approach was "animalistic," adding, "I can’t help feeling that continuing to make bigger bodies into a fetish by segregating them continues to make falling in love with someone above a size 18 seem unusual." I understand every single one of their points, and for the most part, I agree wholeheartedly.Some of Woo Plus' advertising is questionable, at best — the ad that Black highlighted in her tweet being a prime example. Could they have gone about these things far, far better? But is the actual woman's feeling in the aforementioned ad unrealistic? Because when, in this world, are fat women (and fat men, in all honesty) taught that they are just as sexually desirable as their thinner or toned counterparts?
I think the reason I — and many fat women I know — have encountered a plethora of dudes ashamed of admitting their attraction to us is because they don't believe they are allowed to do so without being ridiculed.
I think it's why some will describe Dating a plus size person is hard because being a plus size person is hard.
This means that fat people grow up thinking their bodies are wrong, broken, ugly, and totally-not-sexy, while those attracted to fat bodies (regardless of their own body type) grow up thinking they are broken for being attracted to them.
And it means that those not attracted to them are very rarely shy about expressing as much via "no fatties allowed" disclaimers on their OKCupid or Tinder profiles. A lot of the discomfort around the app also seems to stem from its use of terms like BBW.
But equity is "access to the same opportunities." And the former cannot be achieved without the latter.
The reason we still have to have plus size-centric brands is because the "standard" ones still aren't catering to us nearly as much as they should (have you tried going to the mall as a fat person lately? Part of the reason we still have to call ourselves "plus size bloggers" or "plus size models" is because being "plus size," fat, or super fat is still regarded as the antithesis of "desirable," and most of us are trying to reach all the people in all the world who believe their bodies are wrong to tell them differently.
And there's no reason that such sexual agency shouldn't be granted to fat individuals, whether they identify as BBW, BHM, or simply "plus size." In this equality-filled utopian future we so often like to imagine, maybe there'd be no need for Grindr because gay men could express their queerness openly, in all parts of the world, without concern or consequence.
Maybe there'd be no need for Woo Plus, because fat individuals interested in being with someone who appreciates their fat could take to any standard dating site and not risk being told, "Sorry, you're fatter than your pictures," at an IRL meetup.
A couple of years ago, I decided I'd never date anyone else who was interested in me "despite" or "regardless of" my body.
After years of humans who — no matter how kind or clever or fun they were otherwise — always seemed to have the kind of superiority complex that told them that, deep down, they were doing me a favor by dating a fat girl, I was over it.
I've been in a relationship with my current partner for over four years.