A shy guy, even one who wishes women would be more assertive and take the initiative, can have a low threshold when it comes to directness and energy.Similarly, if a man is interested in a woman who’s more in line with the idea of more traditionally feminine or lady-like behavior, he isn’t going to make for a good boyfriend for an outgoing, dominant or non-traditional lady.Similarly, men may feel as though they’re walking through an emotional minefield and worry about accidentally triggering a reprimand or tirade because of an off-the-cuff comment, poorly chosen word, or a miscommunication.
Being told “You’re too intimidating” is incredibly aggravating to women.
After all, women are encouraged to be assertive, accomplished and independent; being told that they’re “intimidating” sounds like they’re being told to take all of that back and pretend to be something less than what they are. Are geek guys finding a woman’s accomplishments to be somehow threatening? Because “intimidating” is so subject to personal interpretation, I thought it was best to go to the source: geek guys.
And don’t get me wrong, this isn’t someone looking for geeky attention or a propped up fantasy. But “intimidating” is almost uselessly vague, especially if they keeps coming up; it covers a multitude of meanings to the point that it means everything and nothing at once.
She has a job she loves that pays good money, money that she likes to spend on her geeky hobbies and toys. – she hears the same thing over and over again: “You’re too intimidating…” Does this sound familiar to you? In fact, going by the number of emails I get from my readers, it’s most common issue that geek (or geek-curious) women encounter when they’re interested in dating.
Many guys – especially introverts – can find this upsetting or discomforting.
He may feel as though he’s going to have to put on a performance in order to keep up with her. She’s well educated, with a rapier wit and a willingness to use it. And yet, Friday still remains the most lonely night of the week when she sees all of the happy, laughing couples making plans, having romantic dinners and enjoying the sex while she’s at home with Fringe on the DVR and a bottle of Malbec breathing in the kitchen. Well, whenever she’s interested in a guy – a guy who’s worth her time, because what’s the point of having standards if she’s not going to stick to ‘em? She’s done it all; dating sites, meeting guys at cons, the comic store, chatting up friends from class and at work.I conducted an informal (and utterly unscientific) poll on the Dr.Nerd Love Facebook Page, trying to get a handle on what guys mean. So let’s take a look at what men say is intimidating… Men can find beauty intimidating; the more attractive the woman, the more advantages society gives her.There is no reason why you should try to force yourself to be someone you’re not in order to meet somebody else’s criteria.